How to get your child to listen to you the first time you say or ask something?

1. Get your child’s full attention.

Go over to your child, wait for a break in what he is doing, and put a hand on his shoulder.

When you have his full attention, make eye contact and a clear request.

Your child may still say "No," but he will not ignore or pretend you have not spoken. It is much harder to ignore someone who is looking right at you.

For example,

"Boy, is time for bed.” Your boy might say No or run away.

Put your boy on the changing pad to change his diaper. Your boy keeps kicking his legs. “Don’t move, I am changing your diaper, once done, you can continue play.

2. Follow through right away.

If you know your child has heard you but he is not responding, go over to him and help him physically and right away.

For example,

"Johnny, please put on your shoes. It is time to leave for childcare."

Johnny looks at you and smiles, then goes back to playing.

While calmly, slowly walking over to him, "I see you need a little help today. I can help you put your shoes on."

Your child may accept your help, or he may decide he wants to do it on his own now.

Be calm. Yes, it can be annoying to help your child do something he is perfectly capable of doing on his own.

But over time, your child will do it on his own when you ask him to do it for the first time.

3. Agree on, and practice, a response.

Sometimes your child may hear you and may even be planning to comply after he finishes what he is doing, but he makes no response. No eye contact, no "Yes, Mommy".

Tell your child how you would like him to respond. For example, "Yes, Mama" or "Okay."

4. Do not always ask your child to do what you like to do.

This might cause your child to feel upset etc.

Let your child take the lead and do what he likes to do with you.

5. Stop the task you are focusing on.

Go over to where your child is.

Say to your child or ask your child again.

6. Do not repeat.

It does not work and makes your child and you upset.

7. Follow through with consequences consistently.

Teach your child that you say what you mean and mean what you say.

Your child will learn to make better choices.

8. Do not raise your voice.

It can be as harmful as spanking.

Not only it will damage your relationship with your child, but it will also decrease the chances your child will listen to you in the future.

9. Give a reason that your child can understand when you make your request.

For example,

Let’s go to sleep early so that we can be alert the next day.

Put your toys back in the same boxes so that you can find them the next time you play.

You can make small changes to the way you ask your child to do something to help him listen the first time.

Not only is this more effective, but it also can turn what would have been a frustrating encounter into a great bonding time for your child and you.

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Nurture Infant House (Tampines)

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Nurture Infant House (2 to 18 months Infants)

Blk 433 Tampines Street 43 #01-61 Singapore 520433

Genesis Childcare 1989 (Playgroup to Kindergarten 2)

Blk 433 Tampines Street 43 #01-63/65 Singapore 520433

Opening hours: Monday to Friday (7am to 7pm) & Saturday (7am to 2pm)

Public Bus services: 8 / 21 / 28 / 29 / 293

Tel: 96664141