Kid More Attached to Grandmother?! Here's How to Cope
Updated: Mar 24
In this article, I will be sharing with you as his mother how to cope when your child is more attached to his grandmother.
At every opportunity, your child dives into her arms. He has a meltdown when she leaves the room, even if you are right next to him.
Maybe grandma is his regular caregiver, watching him while you are at work or doting him every chance she gets. She may even live in the same house, complicating boundaries even more.
1. Avoid giving in to your child’s unreasonable demands.
Acknowledge your child’s preference.
Explain to him that grandma is busy now, so I will change your diapers.
2. Focus on your child’s wellbeing.
Your child’s attachment to loving grandma shows that he is incapable, loving hands.
Thankful that he loves his grandma, or how lucky he is to have so many people who love him.
3. Nurture your own relationship with your child.
Have regular one-on-one time with your child.
Do daily tasks together.
Play with him.
Read with him.
Once your child can establish an attachment to you, he then has the courage to explore other bonds and relationships.
4. Discuss and establish boundaries with grandma.
Thank grandma for all she has done for your child, and that you value the strong relationship they’ve built.
For your child’s benefit, she needs to be consistent with how you are raising him and encourage her to defer to you and your rules for the final decisions.
Your child needs both of you to be one united front to benefit from a stable, consistent upbringing.
5. Make transitions easier.
Does your child stay at grandma’s house while you work, or does grandma leave your home once you arrive?
Transitions can be difficult for all involved, especially when he shows tantrums.
To make this part of the day smoother, have grandma “prepare” for pickup time every day.
She might do a few calm activities like colouring with crayons or eating a light snack to signal your arrival.
Have grandma avoid starting anything new or exciting a few minutes before you come to pick him up, especially since he will have to leave so soon after.
Every few minutes before you arrive, have her give him a “heads up” so he isn’t so shocked that he has to leave.
Remind your child that he will get to see his grandma and he can work on that new puzzle or craft when he gets there tomorrow.
I hope all these pointers will help you to cope when your child is more attached to your grandmother.
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