Nowadays is getting harder and harder to get children to bond and connect with one another. Many parents face the same frustrations; hence we are here to give you some suggestions to help your children bond and connect with one another.
Prepare the child a few months before the baby is born.
Let the child
- know mama has a new baby and the child going to be a big brother or sister.
- touch the mother’s belly to feel the baby.
- tag along when seeing the ultrasound of the baby.
Meet the new baby for the first time.
The older child might
Positive
- watch the baby.
- talk to the baby.
- touch the baby.
- kiss the baby.
- carry the baby and don’t let the parents carry the baby back.
Negative
- push the baby back to the parents.
- hit the baby’s face or head.
- move away when the parent carries the baby to the child.
Breastfeeding and the child
When the mother is breastfeeding, the child might be curious about breastfeeding and want to watch or to be near.
If the child is watching, the mother can explain that breastmilk is made especially for the baby and it helps the baby grow strong and healthy.
If the child wants to be near, the mother can give the child a favourite toy to play with or a book to read.
Keep a box of toys and books in the room for the child to choose from.
Challenging behaviour after a new baby arrives.
- Cry, shout and ask for the baby to be sent back.
- Behave like a baby.
For example, forgetting toilet training, needing help when eating, bathing, dressing or wanting to be rocked to sleep.
- Seek attention especially when the mother’s attention is focused on the baby. For example, at feeding time.
- Refuse to nap or go to bed and wake up during the night.
Visit here for more details on "Bonding and Connecting with the toddler". This helps the toddler to share honestly with the parent next time.
Suggestions:
Praise good behaviour.
Tell the child how much he has learned and grown since he was a baby.
Try to spend some one-on-one time with the child.
Look for times when the child can spend with dada.
For example, when the mother is feeding or taking care of the baby.
Involve the child in caring for the baby as the baby grows.
The child might
- kiss and touch the baby. - carry and rock the baby to sleep.
Source: Motherly
- push the rocker till the baby sleep.
- want to feed the baby with milk from his breast when the baby cries.
Explain to the child that only mama has milk to feed the baby.
- lie beside the baby on the bed.
- cover the baby with a blanket.
- help to put soap or lotion onto the baby's body.
- dry the baby after a bath.
- feed the baby with a milk bottle, drink and solid food.
- babble, laugh, play or read with the baby.
Source: Motherly
- hug and pat the baby.
- hold the baby’s hand to walk.
- choose a set of clothes for the baby to wear and help the baby wear.
- let the baby suck his finger when cries.
Let the child know that
- parents will take care of the baby when the baby cries in the night.
- the baby needs to nap or sleep, play with the baby another time.
Time with Twins or Siblings
Suggestions:
Do not
- fight over the ride on toy car, toy, book, pacifier, screen or food.
- hit, push, pull, kick, bite or eat one another.
- fight over opening and closing drawer door.
This prevents the door hit one of them.
- make a mess at home.
- cry when it is someone else turn.
- play with food or soups serve on the table.
This prevents spilling onto the floor or one of them.
- throw items at one another.
If you are looking to “manage more toddler’s behaviours”, do check out our article on Manage Toddler's Behaviours Part 1.
Do
- Babble together.
- Laugh together.
- Cry together.
- Play together.
For example, play peekaboo. put a sweet in the center and let the two siblings crawl to get, push walker and walk, play water during bath.
- Eat together.
- Sing and dance together.
- Carry the younger sibling down the cot.
- Feed the younger sibling with food.
- Teach the younger sibling to cycle.
- Read books to the younger sibling.
- Kiss or Hug the younger sibling.
- Hold the younger sibling’s hand to walk.
- Share food with the younger sibling.
I hope all these suggestions will help your children to bond and connect with one another better.
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We have over 10 years of experience in nurturing thousands of infants aged from 2 months to 18 months. Our infant care Tampines or infant care at Tampines has a purposefully curated environment that provides our infants with a warm, loving and interactive environment to learn and grow in body and in mind independently.
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